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How We Leave Not What We Leave Matters

May 9th, 2012
by Cynthia Mitchell.
4 comments

It’s official.Our home has  been sold,and that sign we have envisioned with letters S-O-L-D out in front  is about to reflect those very letters.

This was our dream home.We built it more than eight  years ago, after leaving a smaller initial home  that we built 13 years ago.

That first home was the home of our new marriage.   My soul sister and I blended our lives  with my husband as a new “trio”.Then we welcomed my parents to live full time with us. It was also the place we said goodbye to my lahsa-poo of 14 years, Hector Flynn(Hecky) and both of my husband’s dogs, Dodger and Jiggles.It was a wonderful space that provided a new home for us in a new state.

When we left that home, we had this one to come to.This home was much larger, two floors, plenty of privacy,and a place where we chose to live life to the fullest.

Leaving any place has never been easy for me.I attach easily to all beings.I learned so much here in this home.Too much to put into a simple blog, but suffice it to say, I gained more insight about myself  than in 30 years of practicing therapy .

As I have been sorting what I packed away in my closets, I discovered the picture of this house, the day we received the CO, certificate of occupancy.We all were wearing those yellow “hard hats”.The house had no plantings in front of it yet.We all looked so excited at the prospect of our future here in this palace.

Now we complete this chapter, and we are conscious of our thoughts and feelings of letting go.Fifty percent of what we held onto will be sold or given away.We are downsizing and that requires of us to embrace  the “less is always better” philosophy,when it comes to possessions.We will move to a lovely new location in town.What I know is something I learned from  my dad’s parting 3 years ago, and the parting of my soul sister’s parents,  three months later;it’s not “what” we leave but “how ” we leave that matters.We leave celebrating the blessing of these times and looking forward to making time for what matters.

Here’s to the young couple, the new owners, whose dreams will unfurl here .May the love we shared bless all who enter.

 

 

 

Were Not Our Hearts Burning:Living Our Legacy

Mar 28th, 2012
by Cynthia Mitchell.
No comments yet

Memories Are Beautiful Things to Keep

We are  coming to the last month of staying in this home.After 8 years of being here in the “dream home” we built,we feel the attachment to this place quite keenly.Many memories were created here and this was the last home where my dad lived before making his transition.So for me moving on from here  is  especially poignant .

In the scheme of things we go about our business everyday and hope to be as present as we can to each moment,but  in these transition moments everything seems to have meaning.

It isn’t a coincidence that my cousin Phil, a pastor and  minister of healing from Georgia, came to visist us for three days this past week.

Phil has an uncanny resemblance to my dad and ways of being like my dad  that caused me to breathe and pause many times during his visit.It’s as if my heart was soaking in:”Remember, I am with you always”.I once remember saying, “wouldn’t it be great if those we loved and who have made their transition could come back in the physical form on their anniversary date?”This visit was reminiscent of the story of Emmaus, where the disciples of   Jesus felt a burning in their hearts at the breaking of the bread, and “knew” the Presence of God was within and among them.

My cousin left this morning,and soon we  also will leave this property.We have blessed it for the new young couple that will fill it with a new young family.I can just imagine the sound of children running up and down these stairs and everyone experiencing such joy they can barely contain themselves!

As for us, our moving on days are here. We, like the nautilus shell that creates new chambers as it moves “out of its shell”, we’ll take with us only what can fit in our downsized home, wherever that will be, as we continue to live our legacy well.And like many boomers, we’ll cherish in our hearts the memories we have created which will warm us all the days of our lives.

 

 

Time Freedom, a birthright we can recover

Dec 29th, 2011
by Cynthia Mitchell.
5 comments

It’s the week between Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year’s Day. I am January born so beginning a new  year has extra special meaning for me.This week offers so many work from home professionals  like myself  a time to reevaluate how we have been living , especially as we relate to time and our value for time freedom.Let’s define time freedom as the ability to use our time wisely as we prioritize our values and live accordingly.

As an example, this week, while working at my desk with my wellness and wedding companies I felt this nose nudge my knee,as a sign of   my dog’s insistance that I make more time to play with her, I stopped,and did just that. In fact, I liked taking time out to play with her so much that I did it again that afternoon.

Today, I made time to return some gifts to retail stores in the area.Instead of waiting until the weekend or “after work”, I did that in the afternoon.I did not feel guilty, in fact, I liked that as well.I noticed how the slower pace agreed with me.Making time for what matters blessed me and those around me.

I began at one point to hear the voice of the “boss” inside my head” saying:”how will you accomplish all you need to DO ?” I simply observed that thought , took a deep breath and remembered my morning affirmation:”abundance is all around me and just as the air I breath is in endless supply so is time. I have more than enough time to DO and BE”.

Have you noticed how those experts around us are encouraging us more and more  to search within for answers to the questions of our lives?(Rilke) In order to live those answers we must make time freedom a practice. Are you considering HOW you will do that in 2012?

 

 

 

New Year’s Resolutions: It’s that TIME again

Dec 14th, 2011
by Cynthia Mitchell.
1 comment

 

With the holidays fast approaching, I think of  so many people who like me aren’t “buying into” the hooplah of  buying because”more is better”.It’s not that I plan to boycott Macy’s, and Dillard’s and the like, quite the contrary.I also love shopping online and go first to my favorite online  wellness store for all my candle gifts.

I’m not a bah humbug person by any means, in fact, quite the opposite. I am resolved  however much like the words in Grinch mas by Dr Seuss which I recently saw at Universal, in Orlando, Florida  to remember FIRST that”Christmas is always there in your heart”.

I am observing others when I ask about “the holidays” and notice, that many boomers like me are also resolved to enjoy it quietly.

It’s as if the allure of commercialism has lost its lustre, compared to the brilliance of the Light coming from within.

My husband suggested that we see Christmas as the birth of Higher Consciousness with us.I liked that, although many who believe the nativity story is exactly as it is , nothing symbolic, would be challenged by that suggestion I am sure.

So this year, I set out my manger early , I will only decorate a real tree outside my home , and I still have not bought any gifts for my family,but the manger is calling me to nuture the Spirit of Christmas alive within me, and that begins with being mindful of my energy, and caring for myself as well as others.

And next week, I have put  aside time for one afternoon of  ”shopping”, and  that evening I’ll go to a Unity candle service  to bring even more meaning to that activity and make time for what also matters.

My resolutions begin there what about yours?…May your Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa bless you and yours.

 

 

 

 

Dads their legacy, their children

Nov 5th, 2011
by Cynthia Mitchell.
9 comments

If I could dance with my father again(music to read this blog  by)

This has been a tender week what with me remembering my dad on the 3rd anniversary of his transition.

I was blessed  to have a bond with my dad that was strong and a faith that allows that bond to continue in its new form.

However, the human being I am recognizes that  especially on these “anniversaries” , I reflect upon all the blessings of that bond and continues to search for ways to express the legacy of hope my dad lived on this planet.

About 2 weeks ago, I was sitting for coffee with two business colleagues and one was preparing for his daughter’s wedding which is today.Both the men have 29year young daughters and when asked “what was the most important contribution they made in their lifetime”, they both agreed it was their daughters.One said;” I would do anything for her”.The other “knew” what that meant.They were passing on their legacy as did my dad to me.

For a minute I was stepping back in time and remembering the day my dad brought a yellow cadillac convertible to my college so I could ride in the Miss URI parade.I knew my dad always carried a picture of me in his wallet and he would often share that picture and  say”see my daughter”.In his eyes, I could see my hope for success.As an entrepreneur I miss that energy he mirrored for me, as a daughter, I know how blessed I am to have had  that level of devotion on this planet.

Last night we received news that the owner of a  billion dollar wellness company for which I market lost his middle son.

The loss was sudden and tragic.I thought how incredibly hard this would be for him.He was also leaving his legacy to his son, and now that dream is one that won’t be fulfilled.I have been grateful for the gift of faith as I know that will lift our company’s CEO into the Light of Divine Consolation.

Not everyone has a positive experience of fathering or or being fathered.But for those of us who have, recognizing the legacy our fathers lived is gift, and deciding to do this or something better is  what really matters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NEXT

Oct 19th, 2011
by Cynthia Mitchell.
No comments yet

Imagine for a moment that someone sends you a vibe that causes you to experience some dissonance within your being.Maybe that dissonance resounds with a thought going across the screen of your mind  like the ticker tape in the stock market. IT might broadcast a message that your approval rating seems to be  going down.What do you do?

I suggest you use your NEXT card.You might ask, what is that?It is a creative tool that I created , especially for those people who like myself lived many years under the illusion that we gained our value from the response of others.

Enter  a young teen who was struggling with feeling loved because her co -custodial parent seldom called her .

Her mood was determined by whether or not he called.In fact she decided that if she was lovable he would call; therefore she must be unlovable.

While listening to this scenario, I thought of how this relationship could lay the groundwork for future relationships with her future boyfriends, and or as she aged her bosses, whether male or female,or if she is an entrepreneur, her customers, maybe even her spouse!If they would not return her calls or if they did not demonstrate care, she would blame herself and the cycle of devaluing would be perpetuated, perhaps , even passed along to her children…

Contrast that to a conversation between one of my business partners and her daughter. “Who makes you happy?” asked the mom,my business partner.The child responded “I do”.”Who makes you sad?”asked the mom again, “Ido”.”Who is responsible for your happiness?”she asked again of her 5 year old.”I AM”.I gasped, imagine being raised that way!

So in the case of the teen I handed her my now patented super duper NEXT card.I shared that this card gets me into the flow of life and keeps me from getting stuck.I added , “especially in business, when people I call do not return my calls”. I pull out my NEXT card!

“When I moved to this state,  I experienced, for the first time in 20 years of doing business, the phenomenon of  some  people not returning my calls.Where I’m from, we never did that.At times, it got to me. I began to think it was my fault, but then I created the NEXT card.”

I handed her a bright pink magic marker and a 5×8 index card.On the front I asked her to write in huge letters”NEXT”.

Now here is the important question.When someone “disses” you, what is your FIRST thought? In her case, she thought she was unlovable.”Now what is your NEXT thought?”, I asked.She looked puzzled.”Please turn the index card around and at the top write;

‘I AM LOVABLE and it is their problem!’”

Of course, the ultimate next card would say:”what others do is none of my business”,but to me that is NEXT card advanced series.I’ll save that for the next session.

 

A Father and Son Reunion

Sep 21st, 2011
by Cynthia Mitchell.
4 comments

I feel privileged to witness so many life events that would otherwise have passed me by in former years, years when i was all caught up in being “busy”.It was as if being busy was the thing to do.I have learned better now.As Eric Butterworth says”being where I Am” is key.So I find myself practicing the art of “being where I am”, rather than in the future or the past.I find this practice has heightened my life experience.

Last week our stepson visited us and we were aware, before his visit, that we wanted this time to be time for what really matters.

My husband and I made time on the days prior to Mark’s visit to set an intention for this week.We really wanted Mark to have a wonderful time and Bob really wanted to make time for he and his son to be alone together and simply catch up.Once a year is far too seldom to be with those you love, but the physical distance  and lifestyles have been a factor and so it is.Texting and phone calls and emails do not replace or compare to the personal touch.

While this visit was fun yet not eventful, it was special;there was a sense of opening for father and son, and I was blessed to observe  some of that.At the end of our visit I wrote a letter expressing my gratitude to Mark for demonstrating such care towards us. His dad inscribed  one of his treasures, a book he wrote that he would like to pass along to his son.

At the end of the visit, I overheard them say” wish we lived closer”, my husband came back inside our home, tears in his eyes. I held my heart as my tears welled up inside.

These are the days and moments that create a legacy for living.What a priviledge to be a  living witness to them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time for What Matters 10 years after 9/11

Sep 11th, 2011
by Cynthia Mitchell.
1 comment

So many of us are being called to “remember” today and while I cannot add a word to the experience of those people who perished from this earth 10 years ago on 9/11, I share here a poem (edited) sent to me that may provide some assurance :

‘MEET ME IN THE STAIRWELL’

You say you will never forget where you were when
you heard the news On September 11, 2001.
Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room
with a man who called his wife to say ‘Good-Bye.’ I
held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the
peace to say, ‘Honey, I am not going to make it, but it
is OK..I am ready to go.’

I was with his wife when he called as she fed
breakfast to their children. I held her up as she
tried to understand his words and as she realized
he wasn’t coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a
woman cried out to Me for help. ‘I have been
knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!’ I said.
‘Of course I will show you the way home – only
believe in Me now.’

I was at the base of the building with the Priest
ministering to the injured and devastated souls.
I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He
heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat,
with every prayer. I was with the crew as they
were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the
believers there, comforting and assuring them that their
faith has saved them.

I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan .
I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.
Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew
every name – though not all know Me. Some met Me
for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath.
Some couldn’t hear Me calling to them through the
smoke and flames; ‘Come to Me… this way… take
my hand.’ Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me.
But, I was there.

Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey
for you . But someday your journey  on earth will end ,and I
will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may
be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are
‘ready to go.’

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

 

Calming the Storms in our Minds

Aug 19th, 2011
by Cynthia Mitchell.
9 comments

 

This week, I was able to visit one of my favorite Unity churches and stay for the   evening meditation.The music was extraordinary as usual, and that too allowed me to quiet  my mind  and “enter into Divine Presence of God”.

The reflection that followed the meditation had us address the storms in our life and focus upon the “swirling” around inside we experience when we are caught up in them.

I’ve taken time to enjoy summer this summer, after all, my goal when I started my new business 12 years ago was to create time freedom as well as financial freedom and now it is time to enjoy the fruit of our labor.

Having time freedom, after years of prioritizing work,is a blessing, but for me not without its challenges.

I am constantly drawn into the chatter in my mind that drove me to work in the first place.

Now I am setting a new standard for those who like me have generated time freedom as to how to ease into embracing that gift.

In the days , years ahead, I will be walking upon a new path,almost counter cultural for me,blending the opportunity for time freedom with the opportunity to help my colleagues, many of them boomers like I am , create the same in their lives.

Here’s to “Calm the storms” in your lives.May we all  be given the Grace to recognize them as a call to a deeper knowing of our values and priorities-and of course, time for what matters.

 

 

 

 

Enhancing the Lives of Others Requires Diligence

Jul 27th, 2011
by Cynthia Mitchell.
4 comments

I have been blessed in business all of my adult life. Since the day I” survived” my first day as a student teacher many decades ago, I  learned quickly that we need to draw from our inner resources  to get through life’s challenges.I worked for the school system in two roles for 15 years and am thankful for so many lessons learned throughout those years.I credit the  great leaders and mentors I have had over my lifetime for contributing to the success I have enjoyed both as an employee  and as an entrepreneur for the past 30 years.

Being an entrepreneur came easy for me with a model of a father who was the consummate small business man.

I remember creating my first business at the age of 13.Now,looking back, I see how each business prepared me  for the next.

I have been blessed with being a mentor for many people starting their own businesses as well and have found that immensely gratifying.

What I realized recently however, is that when we choose to work closely with people,our internal reserves matter.

Working Together Matters

Ten days ago,while taking some time  away, and  expecting a call from one of my business partners,I received a text saying he had fallen off his bike while he was training for an upcoming hike with his son in Yellowstone Park.My first response was one of alarm, hoping he was alright and wondering how serious the injuries were.He is a boomer athlete ,yet  falls even  at our age  are  not to be taken lightly.

I held in mind gratitude for his safety and sent him and his family healing light .

I invest in people who are put on my path for a reason not just a season and he is one of those.So I went through my day but felt my energy going out to him .Not being able to communicate with him for days,I noticed my need to do something.

Whether or not he could read my texts, I sent them, prayers, I sent them , as did my family.

I remembered that when people agree to mentor one another or partner in business , they make  a commitment that requires not only a commitment of action, but a promise of mindfulness and care that is so much larger than what appears on the surface.

I know this is why I love my business.I get to invest in people’s lives on many levels, and receive from them in many ways as well.

I waited 10 days until he could receive a call.And while we did not address “business”, we connected by phone and I felt myself breathing easier.I  congratulate myself that I did not allow thoughts of fear and doubt to dominate these days.I am so grateful that he will totally recuperate and become even stronger from this incident.

Enhancing people’s lives by being “present” requires diligence of mind, body and spirit . I wouldn’t want it any other way, would you?

 

 

 

 

 

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