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Were Not Our Hearts Burning:Living Our Legacy

Memories Are Beautiful Things to Keep

We are  coming to the last month of staying in this home.After 8 years of being here in the “dream home” we built,we feel the attachment to this place quite keenly.Many memories were created here and this was the last home where my dad lived before making his transition.So for me moving on from here  is  especially poignant .

In the scheme of things we go about our business everyday and hope to be as present as we can to each moment,but  in these transition moments everything seems to have meaning.

It isn’t a coincidence that my cousin Phil, a pastor and  minister of healing from Georgia, came to visist us for three days this past week.

Phil has an uncanny resemblance to my dad and ways of being like my dad  that caused me to breathe and pause many times during his visit.It’s as if my heart was soaking in:”Remember, I am with you always”.I once remember saying, “wouldn’t it be great if those we loved and who have made their transition could come back in the physical form on their anniversary date?”This visit was reminiscent of the story of Emmaus, where the disciples of   Jesus felt a burning in their hearts at the breaking of the bread, and “knew” the Presence of God was within and among them.

My cousin left this morning,and soon we  also will leave this property.We have blessed it for the new young couple that will fill it with a new young family.I can just imagine the sound of children running up and down these stairs and everyone experiencing such joy they can barely contain themselves!

As for us, our moving on days are here. We, like the nautilus shell that creates new chambers as it moves “out of its shell”, we’ll take with us only what can fit in our downsized home, wherever that will be, as we continue to live our legacy well.And like many boomers, we’ll cherish in our hearts the memories we have created which will warm us all the days of our lives.

 

 

What Does Shame Have to Do With It?

After 30 years plus of counseling people who wanted to change their lives for the better,and enjoy wellbeing, I find myself face to face with a reoccurring theme verbalized in Kevin Costner’s eulogy of Whitney Houston -”shame”.

In days gone by, at our Long Island counseling center I remember attending a training by a therapist on addiction and shame.

He, as did John Bradshaw, the  author of many books on guilt and shame, defined shame as “not feeling good enough”.

So shame seemed intimately connected to who we were not to  what we did.

Later, I  learned in a workshop on healing family roots, how shame can be passed along to us;translating: someone else’s “not good enough” can influence the next generation.

While none of this is news to many people, what may be news is that according to Kevin Costner, Whitney grappled with not feeling good enough, and never was it more apparent than when she did her screen test for the movie, Bodyguard.

It seems that she had her hair and makeup ready when she was about to go on stage for that screen test.Kevin had visted her to encourage her and she asked him if she could have time alone before joining him.Later, he discovered when the lights began to melt her makeup, that she had put on additional makeup  like the cake makeup that was used for her singing debuts, hence the melting.When asked why she did that, she is reported to have shared how she really wanted them to like her, and how important it was for her to be “good enough”.

He stated something like” the challenge of that fame became the obstacle that claimed her life”.

Throughout my years as a counselor and spiritual guide, I witnessed how so many of us grapple with thoughts and feelings of not enoughness, shame.

Many of our 12 step clients referred to their addiction  as “the disease”.Many of those were the bravest of the brave, having faced their shame have gone on to enhance lives.Today,  we recognize what the Bishop, who was her producer of the movie Sparkle said, “death has not won, because love conquers death” . We are urged to love ourselves MORE , to think loving thoughts MORE OFTEN, to heal those places within that feel less than NOW.With each of us doing more of that and helping others do the same, we can transform our lives , our families, our community and  ultimately our world.

What is an affirmation you recommend to counter  ” not enoughness”  and live a legacy of love in our world?

 

 

 

Time Freedom, a birthright we can recover

It’s the week between Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year’s Day. I am January born so beginning a new  year has extra special meaning for me.This week offers so many work from home professionals  like myself  a time to reevaluate how we have been living , especially as we relate to time and our value for time freedom.Let’s define time freedom as the ability to use our time wisely as we prioritize our values and live accordingly.

As an example, this week, while working at my desk with my wellness and wedding companies I felt this nose nudge my knee,as a sign of   my dog’s insistance that I make more time to play with her, I stopped,and did just that. In fact, I liked taking time out to play with her so much that I did it again that afternoon.

Today, I made time to return some gifts to retail stores in the area.Instead of waiting until the weekend or “after work”, I did that in the afternoon.I did not feel guilty, in fact, I liked that as well.I noticed how the slower pace agreed with me.Making time for what matters blessed me and those around me.

I began at one point to hear the voice of the “boss” inside my head” saying:”how will you accomplish all you need to DO ?” I simply observed that thought , took a deep breath and remembered my morning affirmation:”abundance is all around me and just as the air I breath is in endless supply so is time. I have more than enough time to DO and BE”.

Have you noticed how those experts around us are encouraging us more and more  to search within for answers to the questions of our lives?(Rilke) In order to live those answers we must make time freedom a practice. Are you considering HOW you will do that in 2012?

 

 

 

Welcome to our Green Solutions blog!

May our articles add a dimension of hope and faith and prosperity to your lives.
 
We believe in the resilience of the human spirit to continue to reach for life, despite outward seeming circumstances.
 
And we hope that these insights will restore your faith in yourself and your future.We especially welcome boomers like ourselves, and we welcome your feedback and wisdom.
 
Here you will find articles focused upon attaining and enjoying  physical, environmental, spiritual,  and financial wellbeing.
 
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Yours,

Cynthia and the TEAM at Time for What Matters

Solutions for Health and Financial Wellbeing